A few days ago I posted my first ever post on a very sensitive topic – violence against women. It was a short introduction into my world that was hidden behind the screens for many years. Even though the post did not tell much, I still received many letters from you thanking me about opening this topic to a wider audience. And I’m glad I did because only that way I can help those who are stuck and need some guidance, help or advice. Because I remember myself back then when I did not have enough information of what I was supposed to do and where to go. Today I want to share my knowledge and help other women who have lost faith in winning.
Before I go any further, there is something you need to know…
I went out a winner after three and a half years of trials, after every single police station turned down my requests to protect me and my child against violence, after several unsuccessful attempts to get a protective order from the court, after many of my legal papers and documents ‘somehow’ managed to disappear making me look like a fool and a liar, and even after my previous attorney was bribed by the opposite party just to lose my case. I felt like I was running into a wall every single time, my every legal move was erased by illegal operations. Unfortunately men here know how to ‘do things’ just to get what they want and many institutions are ‘co-working’ with them because who doesn’t want to have an extra bonus at the end of the day. Sounds impossible to be protected, right? Wrong! Now I know that not everyone can be bribed, that there are real people and amazing institutions ready to help. So, if I have gone out of this never-ending story, so can you!
Every woman’s case is different and mine is definitely not the worst one. I haven’t experienced any real physical violence while married. It all started when I filed for a divorce. I was physically attacked, then threatened by my life, even threatened to take away my child from me (which for a woman is the worst scenario ever). And here is our weak spot, ladies, our child (children). Oh yes, they know exactly which triggers to pull.
Today I am right there where I saw myself and my kid three and a half years ago. Today I feel stronger as ever, today I know my rights and there is nobody who can scare a sh**t out of me (pardon my french…)! Today that person who I was once afraid of, is now hiding and running. Today there are too many legal obligations on him that he can’t even handle them. Oh, do you want a cherrie on top of it? Since the new law on child support payments, there will be one driver less on these streets as there was zero support during all these years. So, I do know very well what a single mom life is all about.
I have learned a lot during this time, I’ve gained more knowledge and therefore more power. Eventually I’ve met the right people who helped and guided me towards my freedom. That is why I decided not to stay quiet because
I have a voice and I want to be heard.
But do not forget that you have a voice, too. What you also have is your rights. Your rights to live a normal life. Winners never quit and quitters never win! Go and get it, girl!
Those who helped:
Resource Centre for Women ‘MARTA’, helping women who suffered from violence www.marta.lv
Ēriks Pūle, lawyer, defending women and children rights https://www.facebook.com/eriks.pule
Inguna Mieze, attorney, family law, cooperating with resource centre ‘MARTA’ http://rektinamieze.lv/en/team/inguna-mieze-eng/
P.S. I will be continuing this topic by starting a podcast and talking about violence against women. I will have special guests like lawyers, social workers, psychologists, women activists and other like minded people willing to help.